Some of Britney’s fans like nothing better than a chance to pick holes in something she’s done, no matter how small and insignificant. So they were more than ready to jump on her when they read an account from one of her Meet and Greets, which went something like this: “I asked for a hug at the meet and greet tonight. I was the first person in line and nobody said what was allowed, and when I asked her for a hug she hesitated and looked at Larry and he shook his head. But I didn’t care. I told her I loved her, and she thanked me and was really sweet and gave me a tour book....”
I read this and I have to confess that my sense of outrage fell quite a way short of what some fans around the forums were feeling. “What the hell is gonna happen to her if someone hugs her?” one of them demanded to know. “Will she implode from human connection? This is why there is no way I'd pay to meet her, it's complete exploitation of her fans’ loyalty. The fact that this guy was OK with it, then shows his pic where she looks like she'd rather be anywhere else just goes to show how her management are taking the fans for a ride and the fans are letting them do it!”
One thoughtful fan pondered, “Do you think it'd be good if ‘Britney refuses hug request from fan’ became a big story? Obviously it wouldn’t be good press, but it might make her team realise that this kind of thing is really not good enough. These fans may have waited over a decade to meet her and tell her how much they love her, then they’re treated like freaks who need to be kept at a distance! It must be a horrible feeling, especially when you've paid $1000 for the privilege!”
However, it was reported elsewhere that some fans were receiving hugs! It was all very confusing, and eventually one fan asked Felicia if it was OK to ask Britney for a hug and she replied "They don't really like people hugging her unless she's wearing the robe to make sure her costumes don't get messed up but you can ask anyway." Apparently it wasn’t as much a personality deficiency crisis as a stage costume management issue.
But the outcry hadn’t ended. “Britney’s smile is SO fake and awkward looking in the meet and greets!”, stormed one fan-critic and others kept repeating that she looked scared. Eventually it was pointed out that Katy Perry looked just as awkward and uncomfortable as Britney in HER meet and greet pix.
I dunno. I won’t be paying for a meet and greet even though I’ve spent weeks of my life writing about Britney. I don’t feel comfortable hugging and air-kissing strangers and I don’t suppose she is either. Even if she accepts a hug, it’s not really going to be a closer encounter than a simple conversation, is it? What’s a hug from a stranger worth anyway? I’d prefer not to bother.
I recall that, in an early interview, Britney said “Because of the business I’m in, when people meet me they expect me to be like ‘Ta-DAAA!’ But actually I’m really shy...” Lady GaGa may hug her entire audiences but that’s not the point. She clearly isn't shy. But to Britney it feels awkward and unnatural and false, and nothing is going to change that. So what I'm thinking is this: if the awkwardness and artificiality of the situation were to be reduced or eliminated, it might be possible to engage her in a few moments of pleasant and memorable conversation. I know which I’d prefer to try.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
In Depth: Unusual You
“Circus” doesn’t seem to be many people’s favorite Britney album. I think it’s cruelly underrated and contains a lot of top quality material that was at the very cutting edge of pop in 2008 and still sounds fresh today. And it features several tracks that make me proud to be a fan. These include “Mannequin”, “Mmm Papi” and “Unusual You”. “Unusual You” is the Britney song I’m asked to write about more than any other. I’ve been told by some fans that when they play it to non-fans, they’re often deeply impressed, and amazed when they hear who the artist is.
“Unusual You” was written by Bloodshy and Avant and Kasia Livinstone, produced by Bloodshy and Avant, and mixed by Anders Hvenare. It features real instruments as well as the usual programmed sounds: keyboards, bass and guitar by Bloodshy and Avant, and additional guitar by Henrick Jonback. Kasia Livingstone provides “background vocals”.
“Unusual You” has the ingredients of a classic pop song. Its lyrical concept is unique, yet is very simply and unforgettably expressed. People sometimes complain that Britney’s lyrics are shallow or nonsensical, but in this case they definitely aren’t. And the song has a lovely, beautifully constructed melody in which every phrase follows naturally and logically from the one before. It’s a song you could be singing along to before your first hearing has even ended.
There has been a fair amount of rather futile debate around the forums on the question of whether or not “Unusual You” is a ballad. If we go by Dictionary.com’s initial definition “any light, simple song, especially one of sentimental or romantic character, having two or more stanzas sung to the same melody”, then it is. The origins of the word “ballad” are connected with dancing, so it appears that ballads don’t have to be as slow as some people imagine.
Since the words are important to this song, I’ll quote them here, using a composite of the best renderings I can find on the web. If you can improve on them with an authoritative correction, please let me know:
(Verse 1 Part 1)
Nothing about you is typical
Nothing about you is predictable
You got me all twisted and confused
It’s so new.
Up till now I thought I knew love,
Nothing to lose, and it’s damaged ‘cause
Patterns will fall, as quick as I do,
But now...
(Verse 1 Part 2)
Bridges are burning, baby I’m learning
A new way of thinking now,
Love I can see, nothing will be just like it was,
Is that because...
(Chorus)
Baby, you’re so unusual,
Didn’t anyone tell you, you’re s’pposed to
Break my heart, I expect you to,
So why haven’t you?
Maybe you’re not even human ’cause
Only an angel could be so unusual,
Sweet surprise I could get used to,
Unusual You
(Verse 2 Part 1)
There’s so many things, when I was someone else,
Boxer in the ring, tryin’ to defend myself
And the private eyes see what’s goin’ on
That’s long gone
When I’m with you, I can just be myself
You’re always where you said you will be
Shocking cause I never knew love like this
Could exist.
(Verse 2 Part 2)
Tables are turnin’, my heart is soarin’
You’ll never let me down,
Answer the call, here after all,
Never met anyone
Like you.
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
I can’t believe that I almost didn’t try
When you called my name,
Now everything has changed.
(Final Chorus)
As can be seen from the above, the architecture of the song is both regular and straightforward. The words are bittersweet and ironic - a woman who is all too used to being treated with casual negligence, indifference and thoughtlessness is genuinely amazed to find someone who doesn’t behave that way. “Didn’t anyone tell you you’re supposed to break my heart? I expect you to, so why haven’t you?” It’s a “sweet surprise I could get used to”.
Yet the song doesn’t sound particularly optimistic. It’s as if Britney knows in her heart that the eventual heartbreak is inevitable, even if delayed for a while, and that her sweet surprise is a delusion. And come on, ladies - who calls their lover “unusual” and means it as a compliment?
The minor key sets a downbeat mood, and a strangely forlorn, empty atmosphere pervades certain phrases. Britney’s delivery, often conveying a strange and indefinable sadness and yearning, is a perfect vehicle for “Sehnsucht”, the intangible and unnameable existential longing for a someone, a something, another place, another time.... for most people, the magnetic pull of unspoken truths and unfathomable heartache that always lies beyond the grasp of language and of rational analysis. I know the concept of “Sehnsucht” may be difficult to grasp, so I promise to write a full article about it very soon.
Whether emerging from the mood of the song, or consciously intended to play a part in creating that mood, there are several musical sighs and grimaces, expressed in a variety of ways, where what should be joyous sounds depressive:
“it’s so new” (0:21)
“but now” (0:36)
the little downturned guitar note at 1:07 and 2:40
“hah ah ah ah, hah ah ah ah” (two alternating from each side)
“that’s long gone” (1:53)
The signature phrase “unusual you” doesn’t come off as celebratory, but reflective and rather sad. On “Boxer in the ring, tryin’ to defend myself...” - her voice catches on “tryin’”. And listen to “Now everything has changed” (3:23) - it’s not happy or cheerful, nor soft and loving, but harsh and metallic, like the announcement of a tragedy now, or in the making.
As is often the case with Bloodshy and Avant, most of the interest is in the innovative nature of the song, rather than in the production or mixing, which are unobtrusive and simple.
Imagining your head as a stereo soundstage and using headphones, you can hear that the majority of the vocal work comes from Britney herself. It’s not entirely clear if the high voice she harmonises with is hers, but the “hah ah ah ah” phrases definitely sound like Kasia Livingston. Britney’s lead vocal is at center most of the time, sometimes double-tracked or in harmony (also at center) and sometimes backed up by a double-tracked stereo pair divided in a narrow “V” between left and right channels. In the chorus, the “V” becomes wider. Kasia’s “hah ah ah ah” is placed at the extremes of left and right. It’s all very restrained, and doesn’t distract attention from the song.
The instrumental tracks are also pretty basic. The song begins with a fuzzy guitar at left and right, and a solo bass guitar figure. The fuzzy guitar continues throughout the song at various volumes and degrees of prominence. The rhythm tracks join in at 0:23 and are there till closing moments. They don’t amount to much more than regulation synth-drum thumping and three or four bass notes that are neither very deep nor very noticeable, especially during the verses. Synth-piano joins in for all the “hah ah ah ah” sections, the chorus is embellished by random synth notes, strums and bumps, and there are some synth strings during the bridge. “Now everything has changed” is followed by an amusingly Abba-esque keyboard riff.
“Unusual You” is a track that leaves a powerful first impression, and then implants itself in your brain, where this strange song, inhabited and infused by Britney’s subtle and sensitive vocal, nags away endlessly, with all its ambivalences, conflictions, wistfulness and dreamy yearnings.
“Unusual You” was written by Bloodshy and Avant and Kasia Livinstone, produced by Bloodshy and Avant, and mixed by Anders Hvenare. It features real instruments as well as the usual programmed sounds: keyboards, bass and guitar by Bloodshy and Avant, and additional guitar by Henrick Jonback. Kasia Livingstone provides “background vocals”.
“Unusual You” has the ingredients of a classic pop song. Its lyrical concept is unique, yet is very simply and unforgettably expressed. People sometimes complain that Britney’s lyrics are shallow or nonsensical, but in this case they definitely aren’t. And the song has a lovely, beautifully constructed melody in which every phrase follows naturally and logically from the one before. It’s a song you could be singing along to before your first hearing has even ended.
There has been a fair amount of rather futile debate around the forums on the question of whether or not “Unusual You” is a ballad. If we go by Dictionary.com’s initial definition “any light, simple song, especially one of sentimental or romantic character, having two or more stanzas sung to the same melody”, then it is. The origins of the word “ballad” are connected with dancing, so it appears that ballads don’t have to be as slow as some people imagine.
Since the words are important to this song, I’ll quote them here, using a composite of the best renderings I can find on the web. If you can improve on them with an authoritative correction, please let me know:
(Verse 1 Part 1)
Nothing about you is typical
Nothing about you is predictable
You got me all twisted and confused
It’s so new.
Up till now I thought I knew love,
Nothing to lose, and it’s damaged ‘cause
Patterns will fall, as quick as I do,
But now...
(Verse 1 Part 2)
Bridges are burning, baby I’m learning
A new way of thinking now,
Love I can see, nothing will be just like it was,
Is that because...
(Chorus)
Baby, you’re so unusual,
Didn’t anyone tell you, you’re s’pposed to
Break my heart, I expect you to,
So why haven’t you?
Maybe you’re not even human ’cause
Only an angel could be so unusual,
Sweet surprise I could get used to,
Unusual You
(Verse 2 Part 1)
There’s so many things, when I was someone else,
Boxer in the ring, tryin’ to defend myself
And the private eyes see what’s goin’ on
That’s long gone
When I’m with you, I can just be myself
You’re always where you said you will be
Shocking cause I never knew love like this
Could exist.
(Verse 2 Part 2)
Tables are turnin’, my heart is soarin’
You’ll never let me down,
Answer the call, here after all,
Never met anyone
Like you.
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
I can’t believe that I almost didn’t try
When you called my name,
Now everything has changed.
(Final Chorus)
As can be seen from the above, the architecture of the song is both regular and straightforward. The words are bittersweet and ironic - a woman who is all too used to being treated with casual negligence, indifference and thoughtlessness is genuinely amazed to find someone who doesn’t behave that way. “Didn’t anyone tell you you’re supposed to break my heart? I expect you to, so why haven’t you?” It’s a “sweet surprise I could get used to”.
Yet the song doesn’t sound particularly optimistic. It’s as if Britney knows in her heart that the eventual heartbreak is inevitable, even if delayed for a while, and that her sweet surprise is a delusion. And come on, ladies - who calls their lover “unusual” and means it as a compliment?
The minor key sets a downbeat mood, and a strangely forlorn, empty atmosphere pervades certain phrases. Britney’s delivery, often conveying a strange and indefinable sadness and yearning, is a perfect vehicle for “Sehnsucht”, the intangible and unnameable existential longing for a someone, a something, another place, another time.... for most people, the magnetic pull of unspoken truths and unfathomable heartache that always lies beyond the grasp of language and of rational analysis. I know the concept of “Sehnsucht” may be difficult to grasp, so I promise to write a full article about it very soon.
Whether emerging from the mood of the song, or consciously intended to play a part in creating that mood, there are several musical sighs and grimaces, expressed in a variety of ways, where what should be joyous sounds depressive:
“it’s so new” (0:21)
“but now” (0:36)
the little downturned guitar note at 1:07 and 2:40
“hah ah ah ah, hah ah ah ah” (two alternating from each side)
“that’s long gone” (1:53)
The signature phrase “unusual you” doesn’t come off as celebratory, but reflective and rather sad. On “Boxer in the ring, tryin’ to defend myself...” - her voice catches on “tryin’”. And listen to “Now everything has changed” (3:23) - it’s not happy or cheerful, nor soft and loving, but harsh and metallic, like the announcement of a tragedy now, or in the making.
As is often the case with Bloodshy and Avant, most of the interest is in the innovative nature of the song, rather than in the production or mixing, which are unobtrusive and simple.
Imagining your head as a stereo soundstage and using headphones, you can hear that the majority of the vocal work comes from Britney herself. It’s not entirely clear if the high voice she harmonises with is hers, but the “hah ah ah ah” phrases definitely sound like Kasia Livingston. Britney’s lead vocal is at center most of the time, sometimes double-tracked or in harmony (also at center) and sometimes backed up by a double-tracked stereo pair divided in a narrow “V” between left and right channels. In the chorus, the “V” becomes wider. Kasia’s “hah ah ah ah” is placed at the extremes of left and right. It’s all very restrained, and doesn’t distract attention from the song.
The instrumental tracks are also pretty basic. The song begins with a fuzzy guitar at left and right, and a solo bass guitar figure. The fuzzy guitar continues throughout the song at various volumes and degrees of prominence. The rhythm tracks join in at 0:23 and are there till closing moments. They don’t amount to much more than regulation synth-drum thumping and three or four bass notes that are neither very deep nor very noticeable, especially during the verses. Synth-piano joins in for all the “hah ah ah ah” sections, the chorus is embellished by random synth notes, strums and bumps, and there are some synth strings during the bridge. “Now everything has changed” is followed by an amusingly Abba-esque keyboard riff.
“Unusual You” is a track that leaves a powerful first impression, and then implants itself in your brain, where this strange song, inhabited and infused by Britney’s subtle and sensitive vocal, nags away endlessly, with all its ambivalences, conflictions, wistfulness and dreamy yearnings.
Monday, July 18, 2011
"Blackout was a dead end!" Debate!
Everybody's talking all this stuff about me
Why don't they just let me live?
I don't need permission, make my own decisions
That's my prerogative!
It was late 2004 and Britney Spears was entering the rebellious phase of her career. Back then she wasn’t the puppet people thought she was, and she decided to take control. She married Kevin Federline and sacked most of the other people in her life, including cool-headed manager Larry Rudolph. And she released “My Prerogative” as her mission statement. It was the first step on a musical path that led to the release of her celebrated album “Blackout”.
This was her “protest” era, when her music often hit out at the media, with their malign interpretations of harmless events in her life, and extreme reactions to her decisions. The UK tabloids - led by the now defunct News Of The World - had been going to town on her since 2002, and from 2004 the US media joined in as well. The fast-rising celeb-bashing photo agencies were making more money out of her than she was making herself.
After 3 years of this treatment, Britney launched “Blackout”. On her only outing as Executive Producer, she carefully and deliberately excised all softness from the album. Beautiful leaked tracks such as fan favorites “Sugarfall”, “State of Grace” and “Let Go” remain unreleased. Some people like to be skeptical about the extent of Britney’s involvement with the planning of the album, but Jive’s then A&R chief Teresa LaBarbera Whites confirmed that she was very much involved, and discussed it on the phone with her several times a day.
So Britney wanted this album to express toughness and control. It would be wrong to characterize it as all about anger and rebellion, but tracks like “Piece of Me”, “Freakshow”, “Toy Soldier”, “Gimme More” and “Why Should I Be Sad” do skew it somewhat in that direction, and there is an overall attitude that shows in her vocal style. It’s a “love it or loathe it” album. The New Musical Express loathed it but The Times loved it and placed it in the top 5 of their “Hundred Best Pop Albums of the Noughties”.
Now here’s the thing. Dr Luke commented that Britney is her own genre, but is “Blackout” her genre? Sure, it’s a great album, but the fanbase seems to be cooling on the question of Britney’s media fixation. One humorist satirised the tracklisting of her albums as:
Song about the media
Song about sex
Song about the media
Song about sex
Song about the media....
...and so on. I noticed too that in our recent PoorBritney.com debate, people were saying that we’d had enough of the media-bashing.
That debate asked if it was time for Britney to find a new musical direction. And this is the problem. “Blackout” was all very well and good, but it didn’t lead anywhere. Since then it feels like she’s treading water. The next album, “Circus” was a candy store full of goodies but had no particular direction or character. “Femme Fatale” is more cohesive but that’s down to Dr Luke’s control-freakery rather than any new visions or increased involvement on Britney’s part.
After “Blackout”, we were hoping for more musical revelations, more intensity, more complexity. We were hoping that the bar for the ultimate quality in pop would be raised even higher by Britney. But it’s like “Blackout” wasn’t so much a summit of achievement as a musical dead end. She can’t go forward from it, she can only go backwards. DISCUSS!
Why don't they just let me live?
I don't need permission, make my own decisions
That's my prerogative!
It was late 2004 and Britney Spears was entering the rebellious phase of her career. Back then she wasn’t the puppet people thought she was, and she decided to take control. She married Kevin Federline and sacked most of the other people in her life, including cool-headed manager Larry Rudolph. And she released “My Prerogative” as her mission statement. It was the first step on a musical path that led to the release of her celebrated album “Blackout”.
This was her “protest” era, when her music often hit out at the media, with their malign interpretations of harmless events in her life, and extreme reactions to her decisions. The UK tabloids - led by the now defunct News Of The World - had been going to town on her since 2002, and from 2004 the US media joined in as well. The fast-rising celeb-bashing photo agencies were making more money out of her than she was making herself.
After 3 years of this treatment, Britney launched “Blackout”. On her only outing as Executive Producer, she carefully and deliberately excised all softness from the album. Beautiful leaked tracks such as fan favorites “Sugarfall”, “State of Grace” and “Let Go” remain unreleased. Some people like to be skeptical about the extent of Britney’s involvement with the planning of the album, but Jive’s then A&R chief Teresa LaBarbera Whites confirmed that she was very much involved, and discussed it on the phone with her several times a day.
So Britney wanted this album to express toughness and control. It would be wrong to characterize it as all about anger and rebellion, but tracks like “Piece of Me”, “Freakshow”, “Toy Soldier”, “Gimme More” and “Why Should I Be Sad” do skew it somewhat in that direction, and there is an overall attitude that shows in her vocal style. It’s a “love it or loathe it” album. The New Musical Express loathed it but The Times loved it and placed it in the top 5 of their “Hundred Best Pop Albums of the Noughties”.
Now here’s the thing. Dr Luke commented that Britney is her own genre, but is “Blackout” her genre? Sure, it’s a great album, but the fanbase seems to be cooling on the question of Britney’s media fixation. One humorist satirised the tracklisting of her albums as:
Song about the media
Song about sex
Song about the media
Song about sex
Song about the media....
...and so on. I noticed too that in our recent PoorBritney.com debate, people were saying that we’d had enough of the media-bashing.
That debate asked if it was time for Britney to find a new musical direction. And this is the problem. “Blackout” was all very well and good, but it didn’t lead anywhere. Since then it feels like she’s treading water. The next album, “Circus” was a candy store full of goodies but had no particular direction or character. “Femme Fatale” is more cohesive but that’s down to Dr Luke’s control-freakery rather than any new visions or increased involvement on Britney’s part.
After “Blackout”, we were hoping for more musical revelations, more intensity, more complexity. We were hoping that the bar for the ultimate quality in pop would be raised even higher by Britney. But it’s like “Blackout” wasn’t so much a summit of achievement as a musical dead end. She can’t go forward from it, she can only go backwards. DISCUSS!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Time for a new musical direction? Debate!
Now that we have some months of hindsight with which to evaluate the potentialities and limitations of the "Femme Fatale" era, is it time to start planning now for a radical reinvention?
Recently I was talking to someone who knows and thinks a lot about Britney, but pretends not to. And we were asking ourselves how she could step up a gear or two and become, if you will, a “better” Britney than the one we know and love. We agreed that, while her core fanbase adores her, she doesn’t get a lot of respect from anyone else. The general public has been fed so many lurid stories by the media that they just can’t take her seriously.
Yet she can sing, wonderfully. She’s a genuine music fan, with a range of tastes that shows not only breadth but also depth. She has excellent musical instincts and highly perceptive musical sensibilities. She can interpret a song like nobody else in pop music today. An artist like this should be able to produce music that’s both profound and endlessly rewarding. We have glimpsed the artist she could be, with “I Run Away”, “State of Grace”, “Let go”, “Unusual You” and other wonders.
Tonight I was entranced by Rumer performing some of those beautiful, thoughtful, melodic songs from her album “Seasons of my soul”, and the thought running through my mind was that Britney could add so much of her musical personality to material like this and raise it to a level that we haven’t experienced since people like Karen Carpenter and Dusty Springfield were around.
Yes, “Femme Fatale” is a great, fun album of dance music, but it’s hardly deep. She sells the songs with her usual highly professional skill, but somehow you may feel, as I do, that they don’t leave her much room for maneuvre. Dr Luke’s formulas put her in a musical straitjacket. She’s too constrained by the genre to be able to express herself. Is this good enough for an artist who’s been at the top of her profession for 12 years and is now almost 30?
Even if it’s only for one experimental album, I think she needs to move into different territory, where she can grow as an artist, and spread her musical wings. I’m not suggesting that she should do it to gain respect from critics and the non-stanning public, though that would be nice. I want her to do it for herself, so she can feel what it’s like to drive an album with her own soul rather than be driven by some slick, self-serving producers.
So here’s the debate: would you like her to do this, or to stay as she is now? If you do want her to develop as an artist, but in a different way, how should she progress? What kinds of music should she be thinking of next time? What producer or producers should she work with? The friend I was talking to about this rejected the ritual calls for William Orbit and suggested Nellee Hooper instead. Would that work for Britney?
Over to you!
Recently I was talking to someone who knows and thinks a lot about Britney, but pretends not to. And we were asking ourselves how she could step up a gear or two and become, if you will, a “better” Britney than the one we know and love. We agreed that, while her core fanbase adores her, she doesn’t get a lot of respect from anyone else. The general public has been fed so many lurid stories by the media that they just can’t take her seriously.
Yet she can sing, wonderfully. She’s a genuine music fan, with a range of tastes that shows not only breadth but also depth. She has excellent musical instincts and highly perceptive musical sensibilities. She can interpret a song like nobody else in pop music today. An artist like this should be able to produce music that’s both profound and endlessly rewarding. We have glimpsed the artist she could be, with “I Run Away”, “State of Grace”, “Let go”, “Unusual You” and other wonders.
Tonight I was entranced by Rumer performing some of those beautiful, thoughtful, melodic songs from her album “Seasons of my soul”, and the thought running through my mind was that Britney could add so much of her musical personality to material like this and raise it to a level that we haven’t experienced since people like Karen Carpenter and Dusty Springfield were around.
Yes, “Femme Fatale” is a great, fun album of dance music, but it’s hardly deep. She sells the songs with her usual highly professional skill, but somehow you may feel, as I do, that they don’t leave her much room for maneuvre. Dr Luke’s formulas put her in a musical straitjacket. She’s too constrained by the genre to be able to express herself. Is this good enough for an artist who’s been at the top of her profession for 12 years and is now almost 30?
Even if it’s only for one experimental album, I think she needs to move into different territory, where she can grow as an artist, and spread her musical wings. I’m not suggesting that she should do it to gain respect from critics and the non-stanning public, though that would be nice. I want her to do it for herself, so she can feel what it’s like to drive an album with her own soul rather than be driven by some slick, self-serving producers.
So here’s the debate: would you like her to do this, or to stay as she is now? If you do want her to develop as an artist, but in a different way, how should she progress? What kinds of music should she be thinking of next time? What producer or producers should she work with? The friend I was talking to about this rejected the ritual calls for William Orbit and suggested Nellee Hooper instead. Would that work for Britney?
Over to you!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Rejoice! News Of The World is closing down!
Everyone in the UK (and their dogs) knows about this amazing news already, but for the benefit of Britney fans in other territories, I felt an overwhelming need to make an announcement.
No publication has worked harder to drag Britney Spears’ name through the mud than the UK’s leading Sunday tabloid “The News Of The World”. Well, the great news for Britney and her fans, and for countless other celebs around the world, is that the News Of The World is closing down! The final issue is today, Sunday 10th July, 2011!
The reasons believed to be behind the shut-down are: the growing avalanche of revelations about the tabloid’s illegal activity in allegedly authorising a private detective to hack into the voicemail on the phones of celebs, royalty, dead soldier’s families, terrorist victims, and even murdered schoolgirls, and in paying the Metropolitan Police for information. Chief Executive of parent company News International, Rebekah Brooks, has hinted to the NOTW staff who are about to lose their jobs that the inevitability of the closure will be obvious to them all in a few months’ time.
Some may think that these methods of obtaining information, and the use of entrapment by "fake sheiks" and other underhanded devices, may at least suggest an interest in getting to the truth. But media commentators have pointed out that what it really shows is an interest in lazy journalism and a disinclination to get out of the office, do the legwork and talk to some real people who might actually KNOW the truth about something. A quick look at a small sample of their Britney-related stories paints you a picture of vivid imaginations, wild speculation and simple disregard for their victims:
Britney Spears has flipped her lid in rehab, trying to hang herself with a bedsheet!
Britney Spears and Paris Hilton's lesbian fling?
Britney Spears has been working with an adoption agency and is planning on adopting 6 year old Chinese twins ...
Britney Spears Claims to be the Anti-Christ
Britney and Kevin: A Renewed Spark?
Paris Hilton loves the fact that Britney gets turned on by going commando
Britney Spears Islam Conversion For Adnan Ghalib Wedding
Britney has a master plan to get her kids back: Fake her own death.
If we were to go back over the last 10 years, we would find hundreds of dubious stories just like these.
I guess the demise of the paper known to many as “The News of the Screws” will come as a loss and a disappointment to some fans though. Amazingly, there are those who still see her time with Sam Lutfi as a kind of golden age, when there were Britney alarms and excursions, shocks and horrors to talk about every day. The “Free Britney from the Conservators” campaign yearns for those great times to return. But for those who say they don’t know Britney personally and ask why they should care about her - the so-called fans who describe themselves as “consumers” - the sad news is that it’s going to be a lot harder to “consume” Britney without the help of the News Of The World.
But here's the thing. Although the 200 staff are already suing for wrongful dismissal, there's little chance that they will really lose their jobs. News International has obviously decided that they can't just reopen the NOTW with a new name in a month or two, when the storm has blown over. As a legal entity, it has to be quarantined from the rest of the News International organisation. However, it's already rumored that News International won't simply roll over and hand the market to their rivals. An entirely new Sunday tabloid is guaranteed to be on its way. And you can guess who its staff will mostly be composed of, give or take a rotten apple or two!
No publication has worked harder to drag Britney Spears’ name through the mud than the UK’s leading Sunday tabloid “The News Of The World”. Well, the great news for Britney and her fans, and for countless other celebs around the world, is that the News Of The World is closing down! The final issue is today, Sunday 10th July, 2011!
The reasons believed to be behind the shut-down are: the growing avalanche of revelations about the tabloid’s illegal activity in allegedly authorising a private detective to hack into the voicemail on the phones of celebs, royalty, dead soldier’s families, terrorist victims, and even murdered schoolgirls, and in paying the Metropolitan Police for information. Chief Executive of parent company News International, Rebekah Brooks, has hinted to the NOTW staff who are about to lose their jobs that the inevitability of the closure will be obvious to them all in a few months’ time.
Some may think that these methods of obtaining information, and the use of entrapment by "fake sheiks" and other underhanded devices, may at least suggest an interest in getting to the truth. But media commentators have pointed out that what it really shows is an interest in lazy journalism and a disinclination to get out of the office, do the legwork and talk to some real people who might actually KNOW the truth about something. A quick look at a small sample of their Britney-related stories paints you a picture of vivid imaginations, wild speculation and simple disregard for their victims:
Britney Spears has flipped her lid in rehab, trying to hang herself with a bedsheet!
Britney Spears and Paris Hilton's lesbian fling?
Britney Spears has been working with an adoption agency and is planning on adopting 6 year old Chinese twins ...
Britney Spears Claims to be the Anti-Christ
Britney and Kevin: A Renewed Spark?
Paris Hilton loves the fact that Britney gets turned on by going commando
Britney Spears Islam Conversion For Adnan Ghalib Wedding
Britney has a master plan to get her kids back: Fake her own death.
If we were to go back over the last 10 years, we would find hundreds of dubious stories just like these.
I guess the demise of the paper known to many as “The News of the Screws” will come as a loss and a disappointment to some fans though. Amazingly, there are those who still see her time with Sam Lutfi as a kind of golden age, when there were Britney alarms and excursions, shocks and horrors to talk about every day. The “Free Britney from the Conservators” campaign yearns for those great times to return. But for those who say they don’t know Britney personally and ask why they should care about her - the so-called fans who describe themselves as “consumers” - the sad news is that it’s going to be a lot harder to “consume” Britney without the help of the News Of The World.
But here's the thing. Although the 200 staff are already suing for wrongful dismissal, there's little chance that they will really lose their jobs. News International has obviously decided that they can't just reopen the NOTW with a new name in a month or two, when the storm has blown over. As a legal entity, it has to be quarantined from the rest of the News International organisation. However, it's already rumored that News International won't simply roll over and hand the market to their rivals. An entirely new Sunday tabloid is guaranteed to be on its way. And you can guess who its staff will mostly be composed of, give or take a rotten apple or two!
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